Analog Man Vintage guitar effects

New to the INTERNET? Here is some info to save embarrasing moments. I did not write this so don't take it personally :

I will start out with something serious then get to the stupid stuff, READ THIS SECTION!!! You will get hundreds of emails claiming to be from ebay, paypal, your bank, and other banks that you never even heard of, claiming you need up update your info or something. NEVER EVER believe any of these emails, NEVER EVER click on the links DELETE THEM ASAP. There are people who spend all day sending these out to try to steal your accounts and identity. It's called PHISHING and it is a big problem. Also never reply to an email claiming you have money coming, or business opportunities, especially from Nigeria as most of the scammers come from there. If you think the email from your bank or paypal could be true, close the email and open a new window then log into your bank or paypal or ebay account and see if there is a message there. Ebay ALWAYS puts messages in your ebay account even when the email them to you.

Hope that helps! Now on to the stupid things I copied from another website...

Think about it . . .

1. Big companies don't do business via chain letter. Bill Gates is not giving you $1000, and Disney is not giving you a free vacation. There is no baby food company issuing class-action checks. MTV will not give you backstage passes if you forward something to the most people. You can relax; there is no need to pass it on "just in case it's true." Furthermore, just because someone said in the message, four generations back, that "we checked it out and it's legit," does not actually make it true.

If you get an email that says "IT WAS IN THE NEWS!" you can just delete it, it was never in the news.

2. There is no kidney theft ring in New Orleans. No one is waking up in a bathtub full of ice, even if a friend of a friend swears it happened to their cousin. If you are hell-bent on believing the kidney-theft ring please see: http://urbanlegends.tqn.com/library/weekly/aa062997.htm And I quote: "The National Kidney Foundation has repeatedly issued requests for actual victims of organ thieves to come forward and tell their stories. None have. That's "none" as in "zero." Not even your friend's cousin.

3. Neiman Marcus doesn't really sell a $200 cookie recipe. And even if they do, we all have it. And even if you don't, you can get a copy at: http://www.bl.net/forwards/cookie.html Then, if you make the recipe, decide the cookies are that awesome, feel free to pass the recipe on (without the fake story please).

4. If the latest NASA rocket disaster(s) DID contain plutonium that went to particulate over the eastern seaboard, do you REALLY think this information would reach the public via an AOL chain letter?

5. There is no "Good Times" virus. In fact, you should never, ever, ever forward any email containing any virus warning unless you first confirm it through an actual site of an actual company that actually deals with viruses. Try: http://www.norton.com/ or http://www.datafellows.com/hoaxes And even then, don't forward it. We don't care. And you cannot get a virus from a flashing IM or email, you have to download it....ya know, like, a FILE!

6. If your cc: list is regularly longer than the actual content of your message, you probably already have it stored in your old 8088, Franklin, or Adam computer.

7. If you're using Outlook, I.E., or Netscape to write email, please turn off the "HTML encoding." Those of us on Unix shells or old AOL can't read it, and don't care enough to save the attachment and then view it with a web browser, since you're probably forwarding us a copy of the Neiman Marcus Cookie Recipe anyway.

8. If you still absolutely MUST forward that 10th-generation message from a friend, at least have the decency to trim the eight miles of headers showing everyone else who's received it over the last 6 months. It sure wouldn't hurt to get rid of all the " " or > > > that begin each line. Besides, if it has gone around that many times we've probably seen it already.

9. Craig Shergold (or Sherwood, or Sherman, etc.) in England is not dying of cancer or anything else at this time and would like everyone to stop sending him their business cards. He apparently is also no longer a "little boy" either.

10. The "Make a Wish" foundation is a real organization doing fine work, but they have had to establish a special toll free hot line in response to the large number of Internet hoaxes using their good name and reputation. It is distracting them from the important work they do.

11. If you are one of those insufferable idiots who forwards anything that promises "something bad will happen if you don't," too late...you're a lost cause already!

12. Women really are suffering in Afghanistan, and PBS and NEA funding are still vulnerable to attack (although not at the present time) but forwarding an e-mail won't help either cause in the least. If you want to help, contact your local legislative representative, or get in touch with Amnesty International or the Red Cross. As a general rule, e-mail "signatures" are easily faked and mean nothing to anyone with any power to do anything about whatever the competition is complaining about.

13. The CEO Proctor & Gamble has NEVER been a guest on any of the TV talk shows to proclaim P&G's allegiance to Satan...even Sally Jesse's (see for yourself at: http://www.sallyjr.com All the disclaimers to this fact are posted on the various shows web sites. This is one of the longest running hoaxes anywhere..way before email was ever known by most people. (For a complete list of the info, ref: http://www.pg.com search for HOAX)

Bottom Line... composing e-mail or posting something on the Net is as easy as writing on the walls of a public restroom. Don't automatically believe it until it's proven false...ASSUME it's false, unless there is proof that it's true. Got it? Good!

Enjoy this wonderful 'tool' we have available to us and use it wisely, please think before clicking! (P.S. There is no bill pending before Congress that will allow long distance companies to charge you for long distance when using the Internet.)

Now, forward this message to ten friends and you will win the Publishers Clearing House sweepstakes....I SWEAR!!!

Just kidding...!!!

Return to the aNaLoG.MaN main page